‘Crack’ing Glass Jokes

It’s Friday at last and oh my, what a week it has been for the team at Allenby Glass. Working hard to fulfill your bespoke glass orders takes great zeal, but now and again we need to take a step back and relax. For a little fun, we’ve compiled a list of increasingly naff and chucklesome jokes… about glass and windows.

Right, brace yourselves and take off your serious hat… things are about to get woefully awkward!

• What music service do opticians use?
  A: iTunes

• Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled?
  He ended up with a pane in his stomach!

• What happened to the lab technician when he fell into the lens grinder?
  A: He made a spectacle of himself…

• Will glass coffins be a success on the market?
  A: That clearly remains to be seen…

• House can you tell if somebody has a glass eye?
  A: Because it comes out in conversation

• Dad, there’s a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
  A: Give him a glass of water!

• Checking in for a flight, I was asked, “Window or Aisle?” I said window or you’ll do what?

• How do you use water to create light? Clean the windows.

• Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

• Entered a window fitting competition. Smashed it.

Right, we apologise. Those were awful, that’s why we’d absolutely love it if you shared your own jokes about windows and glass with us on the Allenby Glass Facebook and Twitter.

Fun Facts About Glass

Every wondered why wine bottles are always tinted?

The team at Allenby Glass could be accused of being ‘glass geeks’ but what would life be without a little passion? For a bit of fun, we’ve put our heads together and come up with ten trivial facts and jokes about glass that you may not know.

Depending on the company you keep, we reckon they’ll at least crack an awkward smile on your friends faces next time you share these jokes down the pub!

Facts

1. Did you know the oldest recorded glass artefacts date back a phenomenal 3665 years? While various glass oddities were uncovered in Egypt, it is believed that the Romans were responsible for inventing transparent glass.
2. The first glass production plant to open in the United States was in 1608 and could be found in Jamestown, Virginia. It is believed that Dutch settlers opened this plant.
3. China is the world’s largest producers of glass and is believed to control approximately 34% of the worldwide glass market.
4. It takes over 1 million years for glass to fully decompose – REMEMBER TO RECYCLE!
5. Another reason to recycle! Glass can be recycled countless times and never degrade in quality.
6. Decent quality beer will always be contained in brown or green tinted glass to stop UV light spoiling the drink.
7. From the moment you drop that glass bottle in the recycling bin, chances are it’ll be back on a shelf as a new product within 30 days. How’s that for a turnaround!?
8. Glass consists of only three ingredients; these are – sand, soda ash and limestone.
9. Glass is a perfectly natural product formed from the earth melting minerals together at extreme temperatures.
10. Recycling glass saves considerably more energy than making a whole new glass product from raw materials. The power saved from recycling a single glass bottle can power a computer for approximately half an hour.

Jokes                              

“Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He ended up with a pane in his stomach!”

“Dad, there’s a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
Give him a glass of water!”

“I heard that joke when taking a beer bottle to the recycling center. They wouldn’t take it. They insisted it was the pint of no return.”

We’re sorry about the appalling jokes… blame the internet!

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