‘Crack’ing Glass Jokes

It’s Friday at last and oh my, what a week it has been for the team at Allenby Glass. Working hard to fulfill your bespoke glass orders takes great zeal, but now and again we need to take a step back and relax. For a little fun, we’ve compiled a list of increasingly naff and chucklesome jokes… about glass and windows.

Right, brace yourselves and take off your serious hat… things are about to get woefully awkward!

• What music service do opticians use?
  A: iTunes

• Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled?
  He ended up with a pane in his stomach!

• What happened to the lab technician when he fell into the lens grinder?
  A: He made a spectacle of himself…

• Will glass coffins be a success on the market?
  A: That clearly remains to be seen…

• House can you tell if somebody has a glass eye?
  A: Because it comes out in conversation

• Dad, there’s a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
  A: Give him a glass of water!

• Checking in for a flight, I was asked, “Window or Aisle?” I said window or you’ll do what?

• How do you use water to create light? Clean the windows.

• Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

• Entered a window fitting competition. Smashed it.

Right, we apologise. Those were awful, that’s why we’d absolutely love it if you shared your own jokes about windows and glass with us on the Allenby Glass Facebook and Twitter.

A novel way of using glass to encourage women to go to church!

So we published an article a while back about Glass Structures called Exceptional Glass Structures. Well it seems we can add another one to the list with this Glass Slipper Church in Taiwan. This impressive structure is like something out of Cinderella, in fact the slipper may remind you of Cinderella’s glass slipper! There is a very good reason for this……………

Most women like shoes! We say most because we don’t want to be stereotypical but a high heel shoe appeals to a large percentage of the female population! This is obviously the case in Taiwan because this church was built with the intention of encouraging more women to attend church.

The church is yet to be opened. In fact the 320 panel, blue stain glass structure will be officially open in Feb to coincide with Chinese New Year celebrations. It measures an impressive 36 feet wide by 55 feet tall and is situated on the East Coast in a town called Budai, Jaiyi County.

It is all very well building a shoe shaped church to encourage more women to attend but the inspiration for the structure apparently came from a local story of a woman who lost her legs after a disease. This led to the cancellation of her wedding and she then chose to live out her days in a church.

Not only is the glass structure aimed at appealing to women from the outside but internally there are going to be 100 female targeted features which include Lovers Chairs, Biscuits and Cakes!

It will certainly appeal to tourists – let’s hope it fulfils its intended purpose!

Let us know what you think on Facebook and Twitter!

Is Kenya ahead of the game with greenhouse building?

Two Kenyan students built an award winning greenhouse that can control temperature, humidity and soil moisture from their mobile phones. Imagine that, texting your greenhouse telling it to water your tomatoes without even lifting a finger! These two didn’t strike gold right away though, after leaving university they tried growing tomatoes at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro with a couple of other students. They were hit with heavy floods meaning their crops were done for.

However this was a blessing in disguise, after their crops were destroyed it gave them the idea to start their own greenhouse business. Their greenhouse went on to win awards and gave them recognition for something so smart that they even got the attention of President Barack Obama! This greenhouse was built from local materials, meaning they kept costs way down and fitted it with monitoring sensors for temperature, humidity and soil moisture. The greenhouse then sends them a text when something needs to be changed inside; like if it gets too hot for example. They can then text back changing things, like the temperature to help their crops grow perfectly.

The whole thing is also run off solar power and allows them to minimise waste dramatically, since everything is monitored closely. The students have stated that these greenhouses will be available to the rest of Africa sometime soon this year. This will help farmers giving them a lot more control over their crops.

At the end of the day the only question left is: when can we start buying these in the UK as well?

Ultra Hard Glass May Soon Glaze The Market

As we’ve documented on our blog in the past, glass has a rich and intriguing history as one of mankind’s most durable materials. At Allenby Glass, we believe in using only the highest quality glass to ensure aesthetic quality and safety for the consumer.

Glass is generally a very resilient material so imagine our surprise when we encountered news that Japanese scientists have now developed “ultra-hard glass”!  Formed from ‘alumina’ which is the oxide of aluminium, the team responsible for this project are hoping to commercialise the product for public use. The glass is said to be very thin which would make it ideal for protecting handheld products such as mobile phones from clumsy butter fingers and other such accidents.

If you happen to find the intricacies of glass science a fascinating pursuit then you may wish to explore the team’s research here in the ‘Scientific Reports’ journal. The discovery of this ultra hard material was a result of a collaborative effort between the University of Tokyo and Japan’s Synchrotron Radiation Research Institute. This is not the first time such efforts have been pursued to make an ultra hard glass but may be the first success.

Would you pay for an extra hard glass for any of your domestic glass needs? We’d love to know!

Let the Allenby Glass team know on Facebook and Twitter.

To read more into the scientific details, you can check the original news report here at the BBC.

Top 3 Cultural Greenhouses

Did you know that Allenby Glass also specialise in greenhouse glass?

In addition to our stunning bespoke glass designs, we also provide windows, laminated glass, wired safety glass, toughened glass and double glazed units. Anyway, let’s rewind there before we get ahead of ourselves – for a little bit of fun, we’ve compiled a top list of renowned international greenhouses that have left a cultural impact on history…

• Thanet Earth – Kent

The biggest green house in Britain and a truly outstanding feat of human ecological craft – we strongly recommend exploring their website and taking their inspiring virtual tour.

• The New York Botanical Garden

Take a look at this exceptional documentary showcasing on of New York’s greatest natural treasures. Opened in 1902, the garden’s conservatory is believed to be the largest ‘Victorian style glasshouse’ in the US.

• Eden Project

The Eden Project is a Cornish cultural landmark that recreates the ecological climate of both a Mediterranean and Tropical environment. In addition to its stunning aesthetic build and incredible flora, the project is also home to the exceptional annual ‘Eden Sessions’ concerts.

What are your favourite greenhouses? Let the Allenby Glass team know on Facebook and Twitter.

Exceptional Glass Structures

While Allenby Glass may specialise in windows, we are not averse to unusual creative use of our favourite amorphous solid. Rather than thinking of glass as that stuff we see through or drink out of, we’ve had put our thinking hats on and compiled a fun list of remarkable glass creations. Without further ado, here are our top five favourite fancy glass formations!

• The Louvre Pyramid

Completed in 1989, this magnificent glass and metal pyramid remains one of France’s most inspiring cultural landmarks. Not only is it a stunning work of minimal architecture in its own right but it also serves as the main entrance to the Louvre Museum itself – spellbinding stuff.

• Willis Tower’s Glass Balcony

Chicago’s Sky Deck is simultaneously invigorating and terrifying. If you’re unfamiliar with the building and its credentials we recommend you watch the following video – at 1,353ft, the view really is quite staggering.

• Netherlands Institute for Sound and Vision

This is truly one of the most inspiring works of contemporary architecture we’ve ever laid our eyes upon. Again, watch the video below and bask in wonder at this feat of surreal glass genius.

• Selgas Cano Architecture Office

If you work full time in an office, chances are you frequently lament the lack of outside exposure and nature. Sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day isn’t good for anybody but hey, that’s the way the modern world works. Not for this Madrid based Architecture Office though, they have quite possibly the most beautifully formed office environment we’ve ever seen with a natural surrounding that promotes productivity and peace of mind. More like this please!

• IT House by Taalman Koch

Located in the desert, this outstanding work of glass architecture stands singular and bold in solitude. While not far from the Joshua Tree National Park, the home is completely off grid with solar panels providing the home with power all year round. Its large glass walls allow the residents to enjoy the stunning view while remaining safe and sound. The design is one of many similar structures crafted by the outstanding LA architecture firm Taalman Koch.

What are your favourite glass structures? Let Allenby Glass know on Facebook and Twitter.

Fun Facts About Glass

Every wondered why wine bottles are always tinted?

The team at Allenby Glass could be accused of being ‘glass geeks’ but what would life be without a little passion? For a bit of fun, we’ve put our heads together and come up with ten trivial facts and jokes about glass that you may not know.

Depending on the company you keep, we reckon they’ll at least crack an awkward smile on your friends faces next time you share these jokes down the pub!

Facts

1. Did you know the oldest recorded glass artefacts date back a phenomenal 3665 years? While various glass oddities were uncovered in Egypt, it is believed that the Romans were responsible for inventing transparent glass.
2. The first glass production plant to open in the United States was in 1608 and could be found in Jamestown, Virginia. It is believed that Dutch settlers opened this plant.
3. China is the world’s largest producers of glass and is believed to control approximately 34% of the worldwide glass market.
4. It takes over 1 million years for glass to fully decompose – REMEMBER TO RECYCLE!
5. Another reason to recycle! Glass can be recycled countless times and never degrade in quality.
6. Decent quality beer will always be contained in brown or green tinted glass to stop UV light spoiling the drink.
7. From the moment you drop that glass bottle in the recycling bin, chances are it’ll be back on a shelf as a new product within 30 days. How’s that for a turnaround!?
8. Glass consists of only three ingredients; these are – sand, soda ash and limestone.
9. Glass is a perfectly natural product formed from the earth melting minerals together at extreme temperatures.
10. Recycling glass saves considerably more energy than making a whole new glass product from raw materials. The power saved from recycling a single glass bottle can power a computer for approximately half an hour.

Jokes                              

“Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He ended up with a pane in his stomach!”

“Dad, there’s a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
Give him a glass of water!”

“I heard that joke when taking a beer bottle to the recycling center. They wouldn’t take it. They insisted it was the pint of no return.”

We’re sorry about the appalling jokes… blame the internet!

For more from Allenby Glass Lincoln please like and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Love Glass, Love Bespoke

Glass doesn’t have to be bland and pedestrian; at Allenby Glass we have embraced the burgeoning demand for bespoke products and put our expert artist to the test.

Our bespoke designs offer the people of Lincoln an opportunity to realise their personal vision of perfect glass using bevel and lead produce. We understand that glass has a varied presence around the home and garden so it’s fitting that your designs match the mood of the frame. Whether you want to add a simple colour tone to your back door window or have a work of art recreated in glass form – we will be more than happy to comply.

Sometimes we want our windows to let in light but not necessarily allow the on-look of nosey passers-by into our private lives. Bevelled glass and coloured tints can help achieve a bright and fresh aesthetic while maintaining the transparency needed to sufficiently light up your living space.

Furthermore we also specialise in fusion bevels which offer an ideal choice for people wishing to combine the beauty of traditional stained glass with a modern coloured glaze. As with our bespoke designs, if you would prefer a more kaleidoscopic blend of colours then please feel free to explain your wishes and we’ll work with you through every step to achieve a tangible realisation of your vision.

Drop by our show room at 20 Bishops Road, Lincoln, LN2 4JZ to see our work in action or give us a ring on 01522 539719 for enquiries and quotes. You can also drop us an e-mail here.

For regular updates from our Lincoln team at Allenby Glass please like and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

A Brief History of Glass

Obsidian is a stunning product of natural formation

While it’s easy to take our daily amenities for granted, it can be fruitful to stop and appreciate the origins of our most common produce. Glass for example benefits our daily lives in more ways than we often care to think, yet how many of us actually know the process and history behind it?

Believe it or not but glass-making only goes back to approximately 3500-4000 BC and even then, this was only in aid of small, basic formations such as glass coated beads. There is of course naturally formed glass (obsidian) as a result of volcanic activity but human formed glass is currently believed to originate in north Syria, Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia.

The first common method of glass formation was glass blowing which began to dominate around 100 BC after being discovered on the Syro-Judean coast. This method is still used today, albeit in a more controlled and progressive fashion. Despite the revolution in glass making ushered in by this method, there is strong indication that colourless glass had been formed in the 9^th century BC within Syria and Cyprus. In Britain it’s believed that glass making first began to flourish in Wearmouth around 680AD.

Most interestingly, the Roman Empire brought glass making technology to Britain but protected it with militant secrecy to stop the British and other Europeans from learning and adapting the process. Glass has often been referred to as the ‘Roman Plastic’ due to the excessive use of glass vessels, containers and primitive architectural formations such as windows.

While glass was readily available to the Romans, in Britain it remained something of a privilege until 1845 when the Excise Act was abolished thus removing the excessive taxes previously placed on the produce. In 1907 the glass industry took a huge step towards resembling its current state as the first fully automated glass machine took pride of place at Owens of Illinois in America. This allowed the company to produce up to 2,500 glass bottles every hour, a number unprecedented for the time.

Today, it’s a huge industry under constant scientific evolution… to explore our own Lincoln glass service please click here or give us a call on 01522 539719.

You can also find Allenby Glass on Facebook and Twitter.

Welcome to the Allenby Glass blog!

Welcome to the Allenby Glass blog!

In the coming weeks we will be using this space to share news, odd thoughts and project updates with our clients and followers.

If you are unfamiliar with us then hello there, we are a small Lincolnshire based business specialising in all things glass.

Founded way back in 1997, we’ve seen our fair share of societal and economic changes over the past 18 years but we remain stronger than ever and Lincoln’s not doing too bad either!

With over thirty years experience in the glass industry between us it’s safe to say we know our way around any domestic glass woes you may have. We only supply the highest quality manufacturing but we believe value is equally as important to our business ethos.

If you have any queries what so ever about greenhouse glass, mirror panes, lamination, wired safety glass, double glazing or refurbishments and repairs then please don’t hesitate to give us a call on 01522 539719 or drop by our Facebook and Twitter to see what we’re up to.

You can also find our showroom and business office at 20 Bishops Road, Lincoln, Lincolnshire LN2 4JZ.